Just Breathe

An old family friend passed away recently and it was only thrust upon me yesterday as to the magnitude of that event. I embraced this woman who happened (no coincidences, right?) into the restaurant I work with her two sons. She clung to me as my mother had just a few short years ago after the passing of my father. Guilt washed over me. No. Surprisingly, as always, this woman made ME feel better. She has this ability, and has always had, to make others feel good simply by her presence. She takes life as it comes and rolls with the punches no matter the pain that might bring others to their knees.

I breathe. Trying to understand how she, like my mother, has been able to go through life happy. Not letting the woes and happenstances of this earthly life undermine an otherwise joyful experience of living.

I breathe.

Always have I looked to the safe harbor, but never been happy when I do. Always I have been told that it is a must that I follow the trodden path…the true, the safe, the definite, the absolute that will secure my future.

Fuck that shit!

Tried. Miserably failing to see the future of my endeavors, I succumb to stress instead. Too late in life to start now. Not happening. Stress versus a secure future? Yeah…….NO! I must breathe…just breathe….

Enjoying life is more important and, now, I understand this is the only way to fulfill my destiny. Live. Love. Laugh!

When I reluctantly cut loose my stress inducing work, I slept for most of four days. Then, while wondering where I might spend my last summer days on the Outer Banks, I get a call out of the blue. Destiny? Maybe. Fate? Maybe. Where I should be right now? Absolutely.

Where and when and how and why….Never will I allow for the voices that intrude (not always the ones in my head) to nudge me, guide me, fucking push me into that which is abnormal for my soul!

Words have been jumbled in my head for far too long. Crying, no. Dying to get out. Time to put them on the proverbial paper and release my soul. Time to just do what I love. Writing. Making others happy. In service.

Certainly there is a higher power that has instilled within me this need. And I know there are better paths to achieve the peace along with the security. However, it eludes me. Perhaps, though, it is this that I do that is exactly what I must/should/need do. That will bring the peace that I fight for.

So I breathe…stop fighting…stop resisting what I lean to…what I follow…what is laid upon my table.

Just breathe…

So Let’s Just Forget About It

Though I have struggled with not getting into the restaurant of choice for the rest of my time on the OBX, I must keep in mind that it’s happened for a reason. Perhaps it is just time for me to head south and forget about it! I did not plan on leaving for a couple [...]